Basically I'm enjoying my time in Japan -- living in another country is a dream I've had since childhood. But now and then I encounter rudeness, snottiness, or arrogance, that just drops my jaw to the floor.


A few case studies

In going to and from work I often walk between the two train stations in Tsudanuma -- about a five minute walk, with a strip of different stores along the way. One time I was passing the shoe store that's on this strip, and they were having a big sale. A woman was standing in front of the store with a big sign listing some of the sale prices, and calling out for people to please come in. I stopped to have a look at the sign, because I'd been thinking about buying some shoes. The woman holding the sign looked at me, and then turned the sign 90 degrees so that I could no longer read it, all the while calling out her "douzo douzo irrashaimase!" (Please come in!)


Walking past a bookstore in Tokyo. A woman was at the door of one of the bookstores calling out greetings and passing out coupons. As I walked by, she said in the same voice she'd been using, "sakki ni .... yarimashitaka?" ("Did you just ..."?) I couldn't make out what she said. After a while of brooding on it ("Did you just wake up? Did you just spank your monkey? What?!") decided to go back and ask her, but it was close to closing time, so she was gone. It was clearly not an actual question to me, or she would have changed her tone of voice or made some kind of gesture. Probably just taking out her frustrations on a passer by, assuming I wouldn't understand.


Walking home from the nearby train station I passed a guy, maybe in his 50's, walking his small black dog. We exchanged glances, and as he passed he mumbled "iya na yatsu" (disagreeable fellow) or maybe "henna yatsu" (weirdo.) Unfortunately the closest I could think of in Japanese to "Same to you!" was "kochira koso." I told this to Noriko and she laughed. Really that expression means "even moreso on my part." For example, "Thank you for your kindness" -- "kochira koso" (It is I who should thank you.) Oh well.


Waiting for the train, studying Japanese from a textbook on my lap. A man in his 50's, probably with some kind of alcoholic beverage in his hand, walked straight up to me and said loudly with clear scorn in his voice "Denai! kotoba ga denai!" (literally, "the words don't come out." Probably he was telling me I would never speak Japanese.) Then he walked off.


Between the train station and my home I stopped, I think to take a picture of a tree. I was fidgeting with my backpack, and an older guy, maybe in his 50's and clearly drunk, came up to talk to me. After the usual list of questions (where are you from, how tall are you, your Japanese is very good blahblahblah) he invited me to have a beer with him at a nearby little restaurant, just a few yards from where we stopped. I wasn't delighted, I really just wanted to get home. But I thought "Oh hell, if he wants to talk, sure, why not." We entered a restaurant where he was clearly a regular and knew several of the other customers. I could tell he wanted to practice his English so I spoke a lot in English, but I was also eager to practice my Japanese too. He mostly talked about his travels through Eastern Europe, and maybe wanted to show off to his friends that he was talking to a foreigner in English. He insisted on paying for my beer and some food. After about 45 minutes of this conversation, he said something like "Well, you've had a beer and some food. I'm going to stay here for a while longer. You can leave now."

That encounter left a bad taste in my mouth for weeks. I would look for him while passing that restaurant, and resolved that if he were in there I'd go in and tell him to his face what an asshole I thought he was. But I haven't seen him since.


I had to send a fax from the nearby 7-11 on the way home from work. As I was exiting, a young man, maybe in his 20's was pulling his bike out of the row of parked bicycles in front of the store, and accidentally knocked over someone else's bicycle. Its front basket was full of groceries, and probably balanced a bit precariously. As a friendly gesture I moved to help him pick the bike up. His reaction stunned me. He gave me a curt nod, got back on his bicycle and rode off, leaving me to stand the bicycle up on my own.


In another incident, a woman on a bicycle with an overloaded basket was riding down a busy street at night, when she lost control of her bike, and it tumbled into the street. She wasn't injured, and the bike wasn't hit, but she was struggling to get it back up, and back onto the sidewalk. I couldn't cross because of the stream of traffic, but watched as two or three be-suited briefcase-toting salary men walked right by her as if she didn't exist. By the time I had a chance to get across the street, she had gotten back on her bike and was off.


When I first moved into this house, very early February 2004, I had a bit of a cough, left over from a cold which I'd been fighting over the winter. About a week after moving in, the landlord came over to meet me, and to take me to the real estate office, so I could get my signature on the rental agreement. The landlord seemed pleasant enough, a woman in her late 50's or early 60's. She and her husband built this house about 35 years ago, and moved a few years ago to another neighborhood. During the walk she asked me about my cough, and I told her I was getting over a cold. She also asked me why I was so thin, and I said the usual, I don't know I've been thin my whole life I cant gain weight even if I try blahblahblah. She asked me again, as if to confirm "So you've been thin your whole life?" "Yes." It seemed like an odd question, but I didn't think much of it.

A few days later, I was talking to my roommate Mark, who seemed to want to tell me something pretty funny, but was hesitating a little bit. Finally he came out with it. "You know, after the landlord met you, she asked me something pretty funny about you."
"What?!"
"She asked 'Does he have ... that disease? You know, that gay disease?'"
"Huh? AIDS?"
"Yes."
"Really? Why?"
"Because you're thin, and you have a cough."

In retrospect, it is pretty funny, but at the time I felt a wave of anxiety pass over me. How am I seen in this country? If she really thought I had AIDS, then she would have tossed me out of the house without a second thought. Since I was on delicate terms with Mr. Nakamura, and didn't have a whole lot in savings, I would have been basically homeless. You often hear Japanese people say "is America safe?" The question can be easily reversed. Is Japan safe? I've never felt less safe in Japan than at that moment.


Anyway, some time I'll write about more about surprising kindnesses I've received, or about the laughter of lovers and children, or hidden beauty I've stumbled across. But now and then something happens that leaves me just stunned for a few minutes, and then all I can say is "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?"